In response to Candis' Calisthenics, Week 3
The poem that came from the random lines from random sources was packed with loads of images. There is the image of male menopause, which I laughed at. The image of a murdered girl. Also the image of someone smelling the dawn drafts. The arrangement of the lines that made up the poem was interesting, but I would like to see som of the lines moved around more. There is no doubt that there is enough material for this to be a very interesting piece of work. I would like to suggest that the second line become the first line and the fourth line become the third line. I think with a few revisions and playing around with the lines that this could really blossom into an awesome piece.
The poem that came from the random lines from random sources was packed with loads of images. There is the image of male menopause, which I laughed at. The image of a murdered girl. Also the image of someone smelling the dawn drafts. The arrangement of the lines that made up the poem was interesting, but I would like to see som of the lines moved around more. There is no doubt that there is enough material for this to be a very interesting piece of work. I would like to suggest that the second line become the first line and the fourth line become the third line. I think with a few revisions and playing around with the lines that this could really blossom into an awesome piece.
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