tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-299218118344857931.post8508918687649932056..comments2011-05-01T16:33:59.108-07:00Comments on poetry journal: Free Write, Week 3Atareehhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01705828049672660662noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-299218118344857931.post-16353026275841895282011-02-02T06:57:20.824-08:002011-02-02T06:57:20.824-08:00Atarah, the first line is beneficial because it dr...Atarah, the first line is beneficial because it draws the reader in. I think there should be a comma after the first line to make it stand on its own. You did a great job of showing without telling, and there is no question about the topic. The thought of Valentine’s Day being abstract is nonexistent; people don’t understand the meaning of love. The incorporation of CVS possessed imagery, and played on the fact that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. The best line is at the end, it concludes well. The only other thing I would suggest is creating more imagery, pulling out more material objects that one uses to show “love”.Candis M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00562330030270425438noreply@blogger.com